All your your parts
The paradoxical space of wanting my mom to live a thriving, healthy life, and lovingly accepting her and her circumstances exactly as they are...
I believe holistic daily habits like going to bed and waking early, eating mostly whole foods, moving regularly, drinking a ton of water, and not drinking a ton wine and beer (hate me yet) may help to prevent chronic illnesses such as: high blood pressure, type II diabetes, heart disease, osteoporosis, autoimmune disease, and others. These habits aren’t easy to cultivate and maintain, nor do the current systems we live in make them accessible for all.
For my mom, who suffers from multiple chronic diseases, investing in her health-habits wasn’t in the marketing stratosphere of her generation. She was sold a version of 1950’s home economics; clean homes, hand-sewn clothes, six o’clock meat and potatoes dinners, and Toll House cookies equaled love, worth, and mother-of-the-PTO award.
How can I expect her to navigate the new age, self-care, kombucha culture? To prioritize time for the exercise routine I’ve repeatedly taught her? To cook and eat balanced meals; with no one else at the table? To check her blood sugar regularly? To, to, to…
Up until recently, my desire for her to experience abundant health strained my health-coaching code of conduct. As Ram Dass said, “If you think you’re enlightened, spend a week with your family.” OUCH!
Finally, at 54, I’m learning to surrender. After all, if I begrudge her selfless ways, I not only reject her, but myself too. My own inherited selfless, generous parts contribute to my inner guidance compass; coordinates that were programmed (thanks to mom), to think about those less fortunate, to lend a helping hand, and to leave the world a better place.
On that note, after the challenges of the past year, you too may have transitioned from habits that once served you. Perhaps sweatpants with blessed elastic waist bands, and bowls of pretzels, are permanent features at your desk. Extend yourself kindness, give yourself grace, and consider each day an opportunity to lovingly accept all your parts, and at the same time, know you’re worth investing in.
